In 2014, Lana was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. So she went and wrote some jokes.

'Let me start by telling you I’m ok. I’m just in a small  situation involving a pesky cancer tumour in my left nork, but I’m not dying and I’m the luckiest person in the entire world. Cos f*ck cancer, man. F*ck cancer.'

Jokes, truths, and one or two poignant bits from a Melbourne comic who survived breast cancer.

‘Hilariously honest’

‘Gutsy and gleeful’

‘Uproariously funny, devastating and heartfelt, Schwarcz doesn’t want her audience to have a good bedside manner but to behave as badly as she does' -  

"A tour de force that absolutely everyone not afraid of boobs needs to go see. It‘s hard to explain just what Lana has achieved with this show, but she has taken this taboo subject and made it comedy; cathartic, real, honest comedy." - Theatreview

"Smart, funny, empowering... you'll fall in love with the unstoppable Lana Schwarcz"
- Inside Ottawa

"A veritable feast for the senses, a cleverly built show that never fails to surprise. I laughed and cried. It was beautiful, hilarious, entertaining, heartbreaking and raw with honesty and emotion. Amazing."
- Art Murmurs'

WINNER: Highly Commended Theatre Award (Adelaide Fringe 2017)
WINNER: Best Theatre (Dunedin Fringe 2016)
WINNER: Most Outstanding Solo Show (Ottawa Fringe 2016)
WINNER: "Fuck the Patriarchy Award" (Jenny, Winnipeg Fringe 2016)
NOMINEE: 720 ABC Best Theatre (Perth 2016)
NOMINEE: Best Show (Dunedin Fringe 2016)

In 2017, Lovely Lady Lump is about to set out on tour internationally to the Prairies and Western provinces of Canada (Regina, Winnipeg, Calgary, Edmonton, Victoria, Vancouver) and to regional Victoria (Bendigo, Shepparton, Wodonga, Benalla, Warnambool, Williamstown, Gippsland) after successful 2016/2017 seasons in Adelaide, Melbourne (Malthouse Theatre, Aust), Wellington (NZ), Hamilton (NZ), Dunedin (NZ) and Perth (Aust), Edinburgh (UK), Ottawa, Hamilton and Winnipeg (Can). 

Head to the Upcoming Gigs page to book tickets and find out where Lady Lump is headed to next.


Written, developed and performed by Lana Schwarcz
Directed by Liz Skitch and Sarah Ward
Sound Design by Steven Gates
Projection design by Simon Burgin



Due to recent cuts to Australia Council for the Arts and Creative Victoria, Lovely Lady Lump has never been funded. To help send the show overseas we're asking people to contribute a little something something right into this fully Tax Deductible fund at the Australian Cultural Fund. It's almost EOFY, so if you have some spare dollars that your business needs to legally burn else the ATO collect them, burn them right here:

Otherwise, I hear Panama has some good lawyers for that kind of thing.


Lana Schwarcz teams up with Wendy Ingman at Australian Breast Cancer Research to talk Breast Density with Channel Ten's Gia Loukes.